I love her.
Despite all the hurt and pain,
that still remains true.
I did not wish to hurt her,
but I saw no other way.
Her neglect hurt me,
her refusal to admit there was anything wrong was worse.
The final stroke came when I realized that she wasn't going to talk to me about it unless I forced her to.
I could have, but that might have ruined things forever.
So instead I've taken this course.
I've told her we can only be "just friends".
I know this hurt her.
And it hurts me every time I'm with her.
But it hurts less than continuing as we were.
Some day, she may try to deepen our relationship.
I will welcome it if she does.
But until then, I dare not even hope for it.
For hope is the worst pain of all...
Thus have I come to this.
I love her, yet dare not tell her,
or treat her as more than a mere friend.
All because I lack the courage to to act.
For if I act, I may lose her.
12/26/88
Copyright © 1988 Shadow